A Penis Story
by S Girlie
Summary: Sai's only wish was to sit back, relax, and draw penises all day.. It's too bad his mother has different plans for him sainaru yaoi oneshot


This was a fun story to make... If you cringe at the word penis or vagina... DO NOT READ THIS. to be exact, in the store itself, word vagina is said 21 times and the word penis 28 times. It would be best to understand thi warning

I DISCLAIM AND ALL THAT GOOD CRAP

ON WITH TEH FIC!

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Once upon a time, in a land far away from our own, existed the kingdom of Vaginas... in other words, a no man's land. In the Kingdom of Vagina it was custom for all men to be stripped of their manhood... making them both impotent and very, very asexual. It could be said that the Kingdom of Vagina was a very miserable place to live, and many would agree... A kingdom filled with women isn't really a kingdom at all, but rather an ongoing war between over emotional creatures. If there was ever a shortage of lipstick and push up bras, all hell would break loose.

Despite the constant battle for mascara, the Kingdom of Vagina had a strong leader, whose overwhelming authority struck terror in the heart of all the residences of Vagina... it could be said that she was quite a 'dominant' feminine figure. Even being the man-girl she was, she some how produced an heir... who happened to be male. The poor soul would have been destined to the same fate as the rest of the males of Vagina, but his mother, Queen of Vagina, thought it would be a good laugh if his penis remained intact. The women would be able to use him and his penis for scientific research... and to poke at it and laugh.

As the young prince grew, there were two things he learned right on off the bat. Number 1 every one around him had a Vagina, Number 2 He did not have a Vagina. This made the young boy sad, not because he felt alienated or anything like that... He really liked his penis, so much in fact that he wished to gaze upon another penis, anything remotely similar to what he had deep down into his own pants.

His mother caught on to his little obsession right away, considering that he would never let any of the women poke at his penis, he always would be doing on his own, giggling and staring in fascination. His mother was concerned and deep down she wished for her son to have another penis to play with, but being the queen of Vagina, she knew that would not be possible, her little son would just have to deal with what he had; all the pussy a man could desire... Even if her small child was nothing but a homo.

The young penis-obsessed boy of Vagina, over time, grew into a fine penis-obsessed prince, who brought much pride into the community of Vagina. He was well know through out the kingdom for having the biggest and only penis in Vagina. Not having a name other that, the only penis in Vagina, the citizens began to lovingly call him Sai, because it was easy to remember. Sai was awesome, in all aspects, he was funny, smart, but most importantly, gay. No woman in Vagina would ever fear him; this also meant that no woman would ever be able to seduce him, keeping scandals to a minimum. All Sai ever wanted was to kick back and relax, drawing penises all day... which is what he did until the day his mother decided to piss him off.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Sai screamed in frustration, he set aside his sketch book and rose from his seat, "Of coarse I won't agree, I don't care if she is the princess of Penis! A princess does not have a penis!"

"You are getting older, Penis boy," His mother spoke, calling what she had always called him, "I can't get you a penis, but at least this way... you will be king of Penis! Outside this Kingdom, the world is a different place, queers like you would be castrated on the spot! I care for you Penis boy... but I can't exactly arrange you to be married to another boy... get a concubine, I'm sure that will suit your penis desires."

"Hmm..." Sai thought aloud, "Even if I am to marry a woman, at least I will be in a region where penis will be abundant... this may work..."

"That's the spirit," his mother smiled, "Make the best of your situation, Penis Boy, and one day, you will be drenched in penises. Get packing, you leave tomorrow at sunrise for the land of Penis... be sure to bring your lube." with that the queen of Vagina left her son's room never to see him again, it was a very emotional time for the both of them. Sai spent the entire night dreaming about penises he would come to know, He was VERY excited.

When the morning had come, Sai had wasted no time, he simple jumped onto his trusty steed, Penis, and sped off to his new home. The land of Penis was everything Sai had dreamed of, absolutely, NO vaginas and a wonderful arrangement of men, anxiously awaiting him... At this point, Sai finally understood that one day, He would be the king of this glorious realm. He jumped off his horse and groped the first male in grabbing distance, he then grinned happily and said the word he had been waiting so long to say, "Penis."

The king had welcomed Sai with open arms, he was happy to see that his child had finally found some one that was willing to marry... It was well known through out the kingdom that Naruto, the princess, was a disgrace, not even worth being considered royalty. At a young age, Little Naruto had had wanted to wear dresses, something thought to be terribly disgusting amongst the citizens of Penis. The king had resorted to calling him "princess" to keep him happy and also so that the citizens would not resort to ass fucking him into heterosexuality, because we all know that doesn't work.

"So... who is this vagina I am going to marry?" Sai spoke up, wanting to get his marriage, so he could go and "explore" things down town.

"Ah... heh... heh..." The king nervously laughed, "Well... there are things I need to tell you.. but I guess they can wait! Naruto! Get out here and meet your fiancé!" On queue, the short blonde princess elegantly entered the room. Something about the princess struck Sai as odd... She simply did not have the 'vagina' aura that he had become so familiar with. Plus, her tight sparkly pants revealed a little bulge where her Vagina should be. Sai was down right confused, was this really the princess he had come to marry? Or was this some sort of demented trick, to confirm his homosexuality to the king.

"NARUTO!" the king screamed in horror at his 'daughter's' outfit, "What do you think you are doing? After all I have done for you... you want to fuck it up?"

"Puh-lease Daddy," Naruto popped his gum, sassing his father, "It's better he finds out this way. It would be hell if he thought I was anything more than the little queer I am!" Naruto turned to Sai, looking him once over and smiling, "So tell me, Oh sexy prince of Vaginas... Are you scared or are you willing? What to you think of your wife-to-be?"

Sai approached the blond, placing one hand on the boy's crotch, he smiled, "All I want in this world is a fellow penis to be by my side always... I guess this is my happy ending."

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